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I've been playing through The Legend of Zelda, the first one, on the 3DS over the past few days, and it's got me thinking. Obviously this game is "too hard." Left on your own, in a void with no human contact, and only the ROM and no previous experience with it, I can't imagine the game is beatable. Or at least, not beatable without completely losing your mind. I mean this is not my first time playing Zelda 1.

If it is possible to be any kind of release day fanboy for a video game, I am surely one of them when it comes to the painfully named Theatrhythm Final Fantasy, a game with a title so absurd that it has forced me to reprogram my mind when typing the brutal "trhyth" string of letters that does not otherwise exist in any printed communications. So aboard the hype Phantom Train AHOHO I have been with this game that I not only ordered it but also went to minor pains to acquire the recently-released Final Fantasy 25th Anniversary playing card set, which is ass-rendingly amazing, like my ass is cleaved in two with a Cyan SwdTech, it's almost as good as my Dragon Quest cards!

What's the best way to get Brandon, who has every Final Fantasy series logo tattooed on his inner thighs, and who has played and become a virtuoso at nearly every rhythm or music game ever conceived by humanity, to give all his money to Square Enix? Put Final Fantasy and rhythm games together in a new game for his starving 3DS, base it on the most fantastic songs from the games, load it up with collectable crap, nostalgic series trappings and extra DLC songs, then make him wait six extra days to get it global international express shipped from Amazon.

It sure does look different around here, doesn't it? The new and improved N-Sider comes with 100% more comments, and what better way to celebrate this feature than with a fun little round of trivia? Think you know your Nintendo esoterica? Step on in and see how you fare in my tricky ten-question quiz. I present to you this ten-question challenge. Post your results in the comments section. Some questions may have more than one right answer.

When I carelessly tossed the package of Super Mario 3D Land Gummy into my life-partner's shopping basket the other day, I didn't even realize what it was. I saw Mario on the package, and like a mindless child I just grabbed it off the shelf and hucked it in there without thinking about anything except the fact that I saw Mario, and he is red, and he is my friend, and I like him.

Ridley Scott’s return to science fiction cinema with the film Prometheus has left fans with mixed feelings. Some love it, some hate it, some have wondered what Zero Suit Samus is doing in the movie. But one thing is for certain: If you’ve seen Prometheus then you’re in the mood for some Aliens. Unfortunately, there aren’t too many games based on the Alien franchise that are any good. Except one.

I am obsessing about this 3DS XL. With every passing day it becomes more desirable, despite my initial critiques. But the breaking point is going to be pocketability. I don't always carry a bag, so whenever I walk someplace without one, I put that 3DS in my pocket. Aint no point in even having it if I can't earn those coins, get those StreetPass tags. So I made a 3DS XL in effigy out of a French bread pizza box.

I beat Yakuza 4 a couple weeks ago. It took me 41 hours, though I spent a little time fiddling around with a dojo-building minigame and mindlessly watching pachinko balls drain. The percentage of game completion that the game gave me when I finished was 14.24%. 14.24 percent!! 14 percent of the way into Star Wars, Luke and Uncle Owen are buying C3P0 and R2-D2 off the goddamned Jawas. How much is left of this game that I'll never see?

A picture of my 3DS software management page after adding a shiny new 32GB SD card, in preparation for retail game releases on the eShop. Even with all the ambassador games and an assortment of videos and software, that's a heck of a lot of blocks free.

One of the complaints I hear most often about the AR cards for Kid Icarus Uprising (other than that their in-game use is pretty limited) is that the damn things are just so hard to find. Until now, the only real ways to get them have consisted of buying the game and getting the six card pack inside, attending promotional events, buying Japanese rat poison, or grabbing some from Club Nintendo at random.