A couple weeks back, the joy I got playing Soul Bubbles, coupled with the pain I felt when thinking of how it was performing as a Toys 'R Us exclusive, inspired me to run a little contest of my own. No PR agency supplied me with the prize; instead, I went down to the store and picked up another copy with the plan to give it away so that someone else might be able to experience the joy. And so I decided to ask people to share with us what the sweetest game they ever played was that also tanked at retail.
That contest ended this past Monday. It didn't draw as many entries as I'd hoped, but that's okay. I think you'll enjoy reading these essays just the same. Alongside some of the better works, I got this delightful work of prose: "Psychonauts. Great game. Majesco failed to sell it. The End."
To the writer: I've decided that your entry qualifies you for a special prize. You are to go down to the store, buy a copy of Soul Bubbles, and send it to our site manager, Cory Faller. Cory has been telling me throughout the course of this contest that I should just disqualify everyone and send him the prize instead, so I figure this is a perfect way to tie up that loose end.
Real efforts follow.
The winning essay comes from Zachery Clark. Zachery wrote about Earthbound—which, at six figures of sales, may immediately come to mind as having done something other than "tanked"—but as recent events have shown, its poor performance in NOA's eyes has had an effect that lasts to this day.
Earthbound is one of the best games ever made. It also flopped. How can a game so good flop as it did in North America? Only 140,000 copies of this gem were sold, compared to twice that number in Japan with its lower base population. To explore this very absurd part of gaming history, it is necessary to understand the components that made Earthbound fucking sweet. Only then can you begin to see why it flopped, and start to understand why it has not been released for Virtual Console.
Earthbound is fucking amazing for a multitude of reasons, but the primary reason is the humor. Talking to everyone is a must while you play through the game, because you never know what they are going to say. Like the zombies in Threed calling you a monster, or the guy that says "Last night there was a solitaire tournament. I lost my shirt...", or even the lovable camera guy that tells you to say "Fuzzy pickles!" Let's not even forget about the bicycle. You get the bicycle in Twoson for free, and the second Paula joins your party, it becomes unusable because it is a bicycle built for one! Once you beat the game, you are free to roam the world with Ness, and now you can once again use the bicycle to get around faster. The names of some of the characters are outrageous too, like the slot machine brothers named Pincho, Pancho, and Tomas Jefferson. This is just a sampling of the humor, as the game is just chock full of things like that.
The battle system is really good too. Earthbound has a rolling HP meter, so when you take damage you don't instantly drop down to your new level of health, but your HP drops visibly over time. This means you can get a heal in on someone that was about to die and reverse the meter. You can also end battles while someone is about to die and they will be OK, as the meter stops rolling when the battle ends. There are even enemies that take advantage of that. When you kill some enemies, they will explode, doing a massive amount of damage. This prompts the player to pummel the a button trying to avoid as much of the damage as possible.
The marketing for the game was just horrible. The ad slogan was "This game stinks!" and the ad itself was a bunch of screenshots that had little to do with what made the game good. Plus, it had Master Belch burping on it without context, making it seem as if the entire game was a string of bathroom jokes. The ad just did not do the game justice. The commercial was even worse. It had very little to show about the game as well, as it showed none of the humor and very little of the combat system. Nintendo did not try to sell the game very hard at all.
The poor marketing is not the only thing that contributed to low sales. In 1995, Japanese RPG's were not doing that well in North America to begin with. There wasn't much of a demand for them, and with the way Earthbound was advertised it looked like it was just another JRPG. Add in the sub-par graphics and there just wasn't really any room for Earthbound to grow. Perhaps if Nintendo had realized how underdeveloped the JRPG market was they would have pushed to change the conception using Earthbound.
So there you have it: two parts of an essay designed to enter a contest for Soul Bubbles. Much like Earthbound, this essay is pretty awesome. However, also like Earthbound, it is likely to flop horribly, never to be released on VC and likely sequels never translated into English. Finally, to quote a man that might not be worth quoting: "In conclusion, ultimately, the end is the final apex of the pinnacle, the end."
To the writer: I've decided that your entry qualifies you for a special prize. You are to go down to the store, buy a copy of Soul Bubbles, and send it to our site manager, Cory Faller. Cory has been telling me throughout the course of this contest that I should just disqualify everyone and send him the prize instead, so I figure this is a perfect way to tie up that loose end.
Real efforts follow.
The winning essay comes from Zachery Clark. Zachery wrote about Earthbound—which, at six figures of sales, may immediately come to mind as having done something other than "tanked"—but as recent events have shown, its poor performance in NOA's eyes has had an effect that lasts to this day.
Earthbound: a study in two parts
Earthbound is one of the best games ever made. It also flopped. How can a game so good flop as it did in North America? Only 140,000 copies of this gem were sold, compared to twice that number in Japan with its lower base population. To explore this very absurd part of gaming history, it is necessary to understand the components that made Earthbound fucking sweet. Only then can you begin to see why it flopped, and start to understand why it has not been released for Virtual Console.
Part one: why it is fucking amazing
Earthbound is fucking amazing for a multitude of reasons, but the primary reason is the humor. Talking to everyone is a must while you play through the game, because you never know what they are going to say. Like the zombies in Threed calling you a monster, or the guy that says "Last night there was a solitaire tournament. I lost my shirt...", or even the lovable camera guy that tells you to say "Fuzzy pickles!" Let's not even forget about the bicycle. You get the bicycle in Twoson for free, and the second Paula joins your party, it becomes unusable because it is a bicycle built for one! Once you beat the game, you are free to roam the world with Ness, and now you can once again use the bicycle to get around faster. The names of some of the characters are outrageous too, like the slot machine brothers named Pincho, Pancho, and Tomas Jefferson. This is just a sampling of the humor, as the game is just chock full of things like that.
The battle system is really good too. Earthbound has a rolling HP meter, so when you take damage you don't instantly drop down to your new level of health, but your HP drops visibly over time. This means you can get a heal in on someone that was about to die and reverse the meter. You can also end battles while someone is about to die and they will be OK, as the meter stops rolling when the battle ends. There are even enemies that take advantage of that. When you kill some enemies, they will explode, doing a massive amount of damage. This prompts the player to pummel the a button trying to avoid as much of the damage as possible.
Part two: How Nintendo fucked it up
The marketing for the game was just horrible. The ad slogan was "This game stinks!" and the ad itself was a bunch of screenshots that had little to do with what made the game good. Plus, it had Master Belch burping on it without context, making it seem as if the entire game was a string of bathroom jokes. The ad just did not do the game justice. The commercial was even worse. It had very little to show about the game as well, as it showed none of the humor and very little of the combat system. Nintendo did not try to sell the game very hard at all.
The poor marketing is not the only thing that contributed to low sales. In 1995, Japanese RPG's were not doing that well in North America to begin with. There wasn't much of a demand for them, and with the way Earthbound was advertised it looked like it was just another JRPG. Add in the sub-par graphics and there just wasn't really any room for Earthbound to grow. Perhaps if Nintendo had realized how underdeveloped the JRPG market was they would have pushed to change the conception using Earthbound.
So there you have it: two parts of an essay designed to enter a contest for Soul Bubbles. Much like Earthbound, this essay is pretty awesome. However, also like Earthbound, it is likely to flop horribly, never to be released on VC and likely sequels never translated into English. Finally, to quote a man that might not be worth quoting: "In conclusion, ultimately, the end is the final apex of the pinnacle, the end."