Paper Mario, Others Homeless after Desk Lamp Incident

Paper Mario has found himself without a home after a 120 watt bulb was mistakenly placed in a desk lamp by an unknowing youth recently. Reportedly, the two-dimensional hero had just set off for the Mushroom Kingdom castle to enjoy some delicious cake Peach had prepared for him when he noticed an extremely harsh and bright light from above.

"I was-a thinking you know that-a this sun, shes a little too bright today see, and then I went-a back to my home and poof! Shes-a nothing but-a some ashes," Paper Mario said when questioned by Press reporters.

This is not the first incident of its kind. In recent days, Paper Luigi and Paper Mr. Game and Watch have suffered similar housing fates. Paper Luigi was unavailable for comment but his brother assures us that things are on the up and up for the green-clad member of the dynamic plumbing duo.

"Luigi, he's-a fine, always jumps back," said Mario last week. "We're setting up a drive for affected Mushroom Kingdomians and-a we think that everything's-a gonna be alright."

The drive turned out to be a resounding success as more than 600 coins worth of Princess Peach's cake was sold to the public.

Paper Mario, Luigi, and Mr. Game and Watch are allegedly forgoing the purchase of six extra lives and are instead going to repair their houses and set up a charity fund for those other citizens affected by last week's intense heat.

All told, paper-home destruction due to heat in the last few weeks has been at its highest since the great desk fan incident of 1997, when a disproportionately large desk fan was mistakenly employed to cool the city but instead destroyed many houses and businesses and simply blew away many others.

"It's really quite tragic," Paper Mr. Game and Watch said in a statement to the public. "But hang in there. We're starting relief funds and I'll be cooking up sausages all night."