New Nintendo Console to Replace Handle With Trailer Hitch

Citing success with their handle-bearing totable Gamecube console, Nintendo has announced that their next-generation Revolution console will do the GameCube one better by featuring a full-sized, regulation trailer hitch.

"We feel that just as the handle created a sense of community and portability with the GameCube, the trailer hitch will open up a whole new dimension of travel with the Revolution," said Nintendo executive Shigeru Miyamoto. "Imagine taking a camping trip where you could have your Nintendo console with you, right behind the truck or trailer. This is something our competitors simply can't offer. Sony and Microsoft's systems are distinct in their lack of stylish towing options."

Test markets have been impressed with the new addition. Many admire the device simply for the sleek, elegant grace that a fifteen-pound stainless steel trailer-hitch provides, while others appreciate the distinct functionality such a feature can offer.

"I dun' hooked up this here Revolution to the back of my four by four right there, hoo-wee!" one local exclaimed as Press reporters approached his double-wide for a statement. The reporters were invited to "check this out" as Jimbo Higgins prepared his truck for the inaugural tow with Revolution onboard and connected via electric cabling and a ship-quality heavy gauge chain. Higgins shouted "yee-haw!" as he utilized excessive acceleration and witnessed the obliteration of his Revolution via his rear-view mirror with what he calls his "titty air-freshener" swinging just below.

Complimenting the well designed trailer hitch will be an optional pair of 22-inch all-terrain tires suitable for just about any adventure, wet or dry, that one may want to bring his or her Revolution console to. Gamers who use this feature however are advised not to plug their Revolution console in, or even bring it indoors, because of the electrical hazard that the collected water within the system will pose.

"We think that the standard Revolution all-chrome trailer hitch along with the optional all-terrain tires will be a formidable combination in the gaming world. Sure, our competitors might have machines with flashier graphics and online play, but none are rated for 1,100 pounds of torque in 2-inch rain water," said Nintendo vice-president Perrin Kaplan.

Ms. Kaplan also warned the Press that many of these enhancements are set in stone. "It really depends on how the product is received in the test market," she said in regards to the possibility that these developments will be available for mass utilization. "But based on our test audience, the hitch will definitely be standard, and, at the least, the tires will be optional equipment."

Revolution is currently slated for release in 2006.