N-Bits Volume 2
What is this? Well, I'll be honest. I've decided to report on what is fashionable instead of what is right. This is basically a sensationalized tabloid news report. This is not real news nor is it even rumors. These are simply musings, an imagination gone wild. They're not to be taken seriously, mistaken for inside "sources", or even used during dinner table conversation. Now lets get this ball of distasteful entertainment rolling...M-E-G-A-T-O-N
First we must regurgitate the requisite background information.
V-Jump, a popular Japanese video game magazine for kids, is where the excessively hyped MEG@TON originated. An advert in the magazine stated that a MEGATON announcement would be made by Nintendo Co. Ltd. before the end of the year; an announcement of which, will cause a "significant increase in GameCube hardware sales".
Since this revelation, many speculations have been proposed including:
- Nintendo gaining ownership of the PlayStation brand,
- Nintendo lowering GameCube's price to a mere $50,
- Nintendo purchasing Capcom and Sega,
- Nintendo conquering online gaming (HA!), and finally
- Shigeru Miyamoto giving birth to Hiroshi Yamauchi's babies...
Every possible crazy hypothesis has been formulated. Except for one...
What you all have failed to realize - the secret within - is that MEGATON is actually an acronym for:
Microsoft's Empire Grows: Announces Takeover Of Nintendo
At least, that's my "I'm a fanboy" guess. Then again, I've also heard rumblings about this.
Miyamoto's Extraordinary Game: Apply Tinfoil On Nipple
Honestly, if there is a real MEGATON, there's no possible way it will live up to the internet community's expectations. The MEGATON announcement has nearly a legendary hype status.
DISAPPOINTMENT - now that is a word who's crying "I'm an acronym".
Dj Vu - 2003
The end of the 2002 calendar year is coming to a close in a hurry. The second and third quarters of this year have really helped GameCubes library with a wealth of quality games. However, looking into the crystal ball shows 2003 to be eerily similar to this years Q1. Lets see what we can pull up.
Zelda is going to be released on March 24th in the US. At least that's the temporary date. I don't think Nintendo will delay it, but it certainly is possible. At this point Zelda is complete in Japan, so only the localization needs to go through. However, March 24th is a long wait for us. I hope you all have warm socks for the long and cold winter ahead.
So what is there to look forward to in early 2003? Well, the biggest stand-out title is probably Skies of Arcadia: Legends. Heck, if you havent played it yet, you should really be anticipating this game. Beyond that, we would say you could look forward to XIII (an interesting new FPS), Rayman 3 (if it makes it out on time), and Ikaruga. So although it may not be as barren as Q1-2002, it certainly will be a big change from this time of the year. We suggest catching up on games you may have missed this holiday season if you get the chance.
Konami Dunked in Soy Sauce
It's funny how, pre-GameCube release, Konami appeared to be Nintendo's largest Japanese supporter. I remember way back in, to be exact, October 7, 1999 when Konami and Nintendo formed Mobile 21. (Coincidentally enough, Capcom's Production Studio 4, the developer currently in development with Resident Evil 4, was created in October of 1999.) For those unfamiliar with Mobile 21, the company was a 50/50 joint venture between Konami and Nintendo. In 2001, the company held nearly 70 employees. Mobile 21's original intention was to be involved in developing online games for the Game Boy Advance including connectivity to the GameCube.
What happened to the company? Thus far Mobile 21 has only created software for the Game Boy Advance, as listed below.
AirForce Delta Storm (Release: 09.25.02)
Doraemon GBA
Gradius Galaxies (Release: 11.30.01)
Jurassic Park III: Island Attack (Release: 12.16.01)
Mail de Cute
Meine Liebe
Monster Guardians
Nothing worth mentioning if you ask me... These games have either
A) been cancelled,
B) were only released in Japan, or
C) are crappy.
Speaking of bodily excretions, that's about all we've seen from Konami overall on the GameCube front -- Disney sports and soccer sims, blah!
Below is Mobile 21's website for those interested, however oddly enough it no longer appears to be up.
Perhaps Mobile 21 is dead...or perhaps they're doing a re-design of the site in regards to an upcoming announcement.
A company with over 70 employees must surely have more than a couple worthless Game Boy Advance titles in development for the past three years.
Then again, this is all simply wild speculation, so I suggest not reading too much into it...
If you have additional crazy, unrealistic thoughts that you would like to contribute, please send them to glen@n-sider.com
End
"Ya'll come back now."Thanks to Justin at Tokyopia for the above image.