The concept of a tie-in beverage is nothing foreign to bottlers and retailers, who have been drowning us in liquid approximations of shit like the literal goop from a slime ghost (Ecto Cooler oh god this alien slough-off is heavenly) for as long as I can remember and probably longer. But for some reason it was still surprising when upon the arrival of 2006's Final Fantasy XII, Square-Enix and Suntory teamed up to deliver us their version of the hallmark Potion that we'd been chugging in FF games all the way back to the days when our characters were named ASSY and DINK in the absence of default names.
By all accounts this stuff was gross, though they got one thing right: pander to the collector's market by selling a special edition glass bottled version for a sum much higher than the value of the beverage. They repeated this venture upon VII's anniversary, with a ¥3,980 "collector's set" again containing a special bottle of magic potion.
But finally they wised up. Who wants to drink potion when you could have elixir? It will refill your HP and MP! The ad-wizards at Square-Enix and Suntory set to work to craft a new beverage, which began its assault on Japan yesterday. I set off in search of random encounters with the hopes of encountering this rare drop.
In my routine morning 7-11 stop there was only disappointment. I think this particular store is maybe Too Small for this kind of crap. They are still selling the Azuki Pepsi, after all. But after work there it was like a shiny beacon at the FamilyMart: Final Fantasy XIII Elixir, six whole beverage rows packed with the drink (and at the Lawson, six more rows, and at the supermarket, literally a cart full of shipping cases of it).
It's canned normally just like your typical soda, and the cans bear a variety of character portraits. The tag below the drinks cutely reminds you that they are ¥200 each and that this is Elixir VER. 1, a series containing only eight cans. The next version will contain another eight (and herald the release of the specially-boxed mini-figure pack-in sets as well as the massive gift-giving set with all sixteen cans and a tumbler). The cans are really shiny like mother of pearl or an opal and they twinkle in a kind of off-white/pink glimmer under some light.
Where Square gets off thinking I have the desire to deliver a safe-haven to sixteen unconsumed cans of beverage is beyond me. I have my hands full with the scads of other dumb crap I've accumulated already. Elixir is for gulping! I grabbed a Lightning one and one with "Nomchan," whose real name is just as well nothing to me (the can conveniently reminds me it's Oerba). After my fiancée asked me provocatively "which one would you like to drink out of," a question I could hardly qualify with a response, I chose to crack Lightning's head open and suck out all the vibrant goo.
If Potion is the rough shit, the thick, tough field drink that only costs what you'd earn from beating on a few imps and restores just a fraction of your HP, Elixir is the angelic chorus mysteriously found in a treasure chest or by betting a worthless item at the Colosseum, a crisp, lightly fizzy, slightly tart beverage with a skosh of sweetness, clear in appearance, with very little aftertaste. It finishes clean and doesn't ever feel thick or heavy as you're drinking it.
During Suntory's announcement back in September the representative pointed out that the drink contains royal jelly, the Wikipedia article pertaining to which I do not recommend you read if you don't know what royal jelly is (PROTIP: Royal jelly is the nutritive secretion of worker bees). The drink also contains "the daily recommended amount of B1 and B6 required for energy."
Another little adjustment made to ensure "energy": to horrified gasps of the Japanese audience, the spokesperson declared triumphantly that Elixir contains "three times the normal amount of caffeine in a soft drink," a literal guarantee that There Will Be Energy, or brain damage.
Regardless of the beverage's composition though, I must say that I'm enjoying it. With a faint hint of the concept of pure-sugar Sprite, or an even crisper, sweeter 7up, this slagwater will pick you up, not let you down. Is it worth the exorbitant $6.90 a pop that a lot of the importers are charging for a randomly selected can plus shipping? Only if you really want to taste it! Unless of course you collect beverages, and in that case enjoy your box of aluminum-contained liquid you idiot. Brandon's HP and MP is fully restored!
By all accounts this stuff was gross, though they got one thing right: pander to the collector's market by selling a special edition glass bottled version for a sum much higher than the value of the beverage. They repeated this venture upon VII's anniversary, with a ¥3,980 "collector's set" again containing a special bottle of magic potion.
But finally they wised up. Who wants to drink potion when you could have elixir? It will refill your HP and MP! The ad-wizards at Square-Enix and Suntory set to work to craft a new beverage, which began its assault on Japan yesterday. I set off in search of random encounters with the hopes of encountering this rare drop.
In my routine morning 7-11 stop there was only disappointment. I think this particular store is maybe Too Small for this kind of crap. They are still selling the Azuki Pepsi, after all. But after work there it was like a shiny beacon at the FamilyMart: Final Fantasy XIII Elixir, six whole beverage rows packed with the drink (and at the Lawson, six more rows, and at the supermarket, literally a cart full of shipping cases of it).
It's canned normally just like your typical soda, and the cans bear a variety of character portraits. The tag below the drinks cutely reminds you that they are ¥200 each and that this is Elixir VER. 1, a series containing only eight cans. The next version will contain another eight (and herald the release of the specially-boxed mini-figure pack-in sets as well as the massive gift-giving set with all sixteen cans and a tumbler). The cans are really shiny like mother of pearl or an opal and they twinkle in a kind of off-white/pink glimmer under some light.
Where Square gets off thinking I have the desire to deliver a safe-haven to sixteen unconsumed cans of beverage is beyond me. I have my hands full with the scads of other dumb crap I've accumulated already. Elixir is for gulping! I grabbed a Lightning one and one with "Nomchan," whose real name is just as well nothing to me (the can conveniently reminds me it's Oerba). After my fiancée asked me provocatively "which one would you like to drink out of," a question I could hardly qualify with a response, I chose to crack Lightning's head open and suck out all the vibrant goo.
If Potion is the rough shit, the thick, tough field drink that only costs what you'd earn from beating on a few imps and restores just a fraction of your HP, Elixir is the angelic chorus mysteriously found in a treasure chest or by betting a worthless item at the Colosseum, a crisp, lightly fizzy, slightly tart beverage with a skosh of sweetness, clear in appearance, with very little aftertaste. It finishes clean and doesn't ever feel thick or heavy as you're drinking it.
During Suntory's announcement back in September the representative pointed out that the drink contains royal jelly, the Wikipedia article pertaining to which I do not recommend you read if you don't know what royal jelly is (PROTIP: Royal jelly is the nutritive secretion of worker bees). The drink also contains "the daily recommended amount of B1 and B6 required for energy."
Another little adjustment made to ensure "energy": to horrified gasps of the Japanese audience, the spokesperson declared triumphantly that Elixir contains "three times the normal amount of caffeine in a soft drink," a literal guarantee that There Will Be Energy, or brain damage.
Regardless of the beverage's composition though, I must say that I'm enjoying it. With a faint hint of the concept of pure-sugar Sprite, or an even crisper, sweeter 7up, this slagwater will pick you up, not let you down. Is it worth the exorbitant $6.90 a pop that a lot of the importers are charging for a randomly selected can plus shipping? Only if you really want to taste it! Unless of course you collect beverages, and in that case enjoy your box of aluminum-contained liquid you idiot. Brandon's HP and MP is fully restored!