Journey To The Center of the Cube II
Last year, when the GameCube was just released, fellow staffer Brenden Petracek wrote an article on how to take apart a GameCube.
This year, my friends and I had a zany idea to import Biohazard and modify the GameCube ourselves to be able to play it. Using Brendens article as our bible, we set out to see just how reliable his writings were. How did the second N-Sider journey into the cube fare? With Brendens guidance, we have created an update to taking apart the cube. What follows is the whole soldiers story:
We all know that Biohazard (Resident Evil) is one of the larger titles to be released at this time of year. So, in modding the GameCube you could play the Japanese version during this dry period of releases. The first thing we did is reference Brendens article and took note of what tools we were going to need. The one thing that stuck out of the article as being the most challenging was definitely the custom Gamebit. Brenden had devised a way to create a custom bit to get at the pesky screws on the belly of the GameCube, and we were delighted to hear that.
Preparing to make the Gamebit was a task of its own. He listed 6mm brass rod (solid, not hollow) as the core of the bit. Though his measurements ended up being perfect, we found that brass was just not plausible. Instead, we ended up going into the local hardware store and telling the clerk This may sound weird, but we need a rod with a 6mm diameter. The clerk kind of grinned as if this sort of thing happens all the time, and then lead us towards the rods section (who would have known). Let me tell you, if you ever just get this desire to go buy a rod of any type, the hardware store has you covered. After we picked out one that seemed to be just the right size, we asked the clerk what type of metal they were made out of. Metal, she said. I guess I got what was coming for me.
Next, we ran home and began work on the custom bit. Brenden had a description of this part of the process, but we found it a tad confusing. Using an N64 cartridge for example, we could see just how this bit was supposed to look. After about ten minutes we finally were able to imagine the cuts needed. I drew a diagram in paint to detail it. I know I cant draw, but bare with me:
Essentially, if you look straight down at the bit, you want to divide the pie shape into two equal slices. Then, you want to cut those pie pieces into two respectively, and this process goes on until the cuts look just like the above image. To do this we attempted using hacksaw. Just as I started to saw, the blade fell off the saw, and essentially was broken for good (there seemed to be a missing piece on the saw or something). So, we were forced to hold the blade in our bare hands and cut if we were to continue. That is exactly what we ended up doing. We soon realized why the file that Brenden listed came in handy so much. When you try to get a cut going on a piece of metal (with a broken hacksaw at that) you need to make a groove. Using the edge of the file worked wonders in this regard. After making tiny little grooves on the top of the rod, we were able to saw away without worrying about messing up the cut.
Next, you need to drill and shape your custom bit to work perfectly when the time comes. To make a hole in the middle of the bit we used a drill, as Brenden detailed in his article, and drove it as straight down as possible. After that was complete, we did some more sawing, filing, and drilling to get the final look of the bit, which I drew below:
If your bit looks remotely like that then you are set. Okay, six hours later, we have a bit and are ready to go inside the cube. One hitch stood in our way: One of the screws did not want to come out of its place no matter how hard we tried. For 45 minutes we tried and tried to get the screw completely out with no avail. Right before we were about to throw in the towel, I walked over to the cube (just the site of it was mocking us) and said Why dont we just rip this thing off, and without thinking I yanked the top of the cube off and the screw went flying. We all stood there stunned, as we were now finally looking at the inside of the machine. The peasants rejoiced.
Following Brendens plan to a tee, we removed all the required screws, fans, wires, etc. That was just fine. Then came the dreaded heat sink. We all knew how much this thing was hated, but were confident we could defeat it. Brendens article reads Just like the top assembly, lift straight up and be careful. What it should read is something more akin to unlike the top assembly, this nuisance needs the Jaws of Life to pry it off of its home. Honestly folks, I was almost sure at one point that the motherboard was going to break, or the heat sink would fly through the air after being ripped off. You know when you were kids, and one kid had a hard time opening a bag of chips, and ended up having the whole thing explode? I was almost certain that was going to happen. Thankfully, it finally came off and we all sighed with relief. Thats until we saw what would ultimately be the end of our journey: the modification point. We almost all stopped breathing when we saw it. The point was so small, that we almost had to get a magnifying glass to see it. We were prepared for soldering on a miniature scale, but this was ridiculous. To top it all off, not only were the points incredibly small, they were extremely close together. Its funny because looking at pictures on the net, and reading the How-Tos just doesnt give you a sense of scale. Its actually just the same way as seeing the GameCube in person for the first time. You knew it was small, but most were still surprised when seeing it in person.
Anyways, if you were to walk away knowing one thing from this article, know this: Do not attempt this mod unless you know somebody who can actually solder at the micro level. Hell, I wouldnt trust my cube with anything less than a robot hand on this one. So now I have told you something that nobody told me before I did this. Hopefully you will be more prepared for this revelation now than I was.
Everything else Brenden wrote about putting the cube back together worked like a charm, so at least we still have the cube working. Was the journey a waste? Hell no. Seeing the inside of this amazing machine was almost worth the trip alone. So, if you are going to do a GameCube job, make sure to print Brendens article out (that follows) and read or print these words as well. Good luck to all!
Jason Nuyens