[03.11] XIX - Love in the Time of Science
A week and a half. You can deal with that, right? Last time I told you all to write in with your ideal Smash Bros. character and I can tell you guys really loved the topic because two of you wrote in about it and one of you just wanted to heckle me.
Look guys, I know you love to READ Heart Containers, but have you thought about the fact that there is more going on here than you can imagine? These letters that I print, they don't just come from magic goblins who want to make the funny, they come from people like YOU! And if YOU don't write them, for crap's sake I can't print them! So for the love of Pete Maravich, please write in dammit! If you do not, I solemnly vow that I will command my mutated dwarf servant to place fire ants in the rectums of each and every one of you.
| Who's the Dork Now? |
"bimonthly ( P ) Pronunciation Key (b-mnthl) adj.
Happening every two months.
Happening twice a month; semimonthly.adv.
Once every two months.
Twice a month; semimonthly."From Dictionary.com.
| YOU ARE YOU ARE |
Some other yahoo tried to use that against me once and I'm calling bullshit. The fact is that Nintendo Power used to publish their magazine once every two months and they called it bi-monthly, and as far as I'm concerned, if someone says bi-monthly it means once every two months. Now go take your bi-monthly shower.
| Woohaw |
The new character I'd introduce is The Nintendo DS. You can wirelessly connect your DS to the Revolution and use it as a controller to control the DS character. "Touching is Good, but whacking Mario in the crotch with the DS stylus is Better." Have you seen that DS commercial where the kid in the apartment across the street messes around with the guy who's brushing his teeth. I think its a Wario Ware Touched commerical. That's what the DS could do to other Smash Bros. Make them poke themselves to death...or at least of the edge of the arena. In all honesty, to use the DS stylus and touchscreen to smash sounds really cool...we need a DS version of Smash Brothers. Imagine: Wireless multiplayer, Internet tournaments, and whacking Mario in the crotch with the DS stylus! BRING IT ON!!!!
Justin
| Serious |
I think that's a good idea. The possibilities for touch stick whacking seem endless.
That sounds pretty dirty actually.
| OCRemixer |
So hello, I'm Michael "S|r_NutS" Molina from the http://www.ocremix.org community and this is the first time I send a letter to you but I've been visiting N-sider for a while, I love the site and I've read practically every article that is here.(Including most of the forum). I like the humour here, and of course, the news and analysis about my favorite company in the industry.
So anyways, which character I want to see in the next smash bros? well, I'm dying to see Pit in the next installment, as there's so many posibilities about him, could be a fast, flying character with long range attacks, truly unique. If the big N decides to put him the next time, I'll be pretty happy about the game, besides any other new character that could be added.
So besides him, they could include that furry girl from star fox adventures(forgot her name) she's got the staff, that could make up a great character too. Also, Pac man! since Namco has been so close to nintendo lately. Of course, none of this characters gets close to what I think would be the coolest smash bros character ever: Mary Tyler Moore. Although I doubt that they would put her in. boo :( .
Keep up the good work brandon(and update it more often, pluh ees!)
Michael
| Picturer |
I'm not feeling so wordy anymore since Smith and I have been working on Volume 2 of the hard-hitting newspaper, the Press. So in exchange, please accept this mock-up of what Smash Brothers might look like if Mary Tyler Moore and Pac-Man were fighting.
--- Closing Comments --- A pretty damned short column this time I'll admit, but hey, I only had three letters and what can you expect from me besides all-encompassing disappointment?
Next time it will be the twentieth edition of Heart Containers. So, since I am too lazy to create new content, I want you all to write in telling me what your favorite letter/volume of Heart Containers of all time has been. Just click my little avatar on the right over there and browse through past issues. I'm pretty fond of the one where the Martha Stewart vs. Toilet battle ensues. So come on! Learn about Heart Containers heritage and dammit WRITE IN! OR DIE! please
love
brandon mandon fo-fandon
| Got a letter? Send it to Brandon! |