[11.18] VI - Column For Dustmites
Did you know that Steve Burns, former host of children's show Blue's Clues, isn't actually dead and is IN FACT promoting an indie pop/rock album he finely crafted with some members of the effing awesome Flaming Lips? Neither did I until a couple weeks ago. But it's true and you all need to go to Steve's Webpage and buy it or listen to some songs cause I swear to these breaded mini corndogs that it's Jesus.
I apologize for the week and a day lateness. I've been pretty busy with school and all which is the token excuse, but really. Also Turkey Day is coming up and I'm really excited not only because I get to shove my mouth full of turkey drumstick but because I'll get to wipe cranberry sauce all over my naked body.
Also this girl's coming to visit and she wants me bad.
There's this neat game that just came out called ... mega mario racing boost or something but anyway, I saw it and it made me all warm and fuzzy inside. I asked you guys to tell me about some of your I-loved-it-but-why nostalgia games last time, so I'll print your letters this time. There is also a good chance I will give you another topic at the end.
I'd say a hundred percent chance, even.
| Growing Pains |
Nastalgia games that I won't enjoy so much today? Well, I'm sure games like Duck Hunt or Battletoads might be a bit thin on substance in today's generation of games, but I wouldn't quite say there were too many NES games that I would bother mentioning unless they were ammusing in some sort of way. Sure, there were some NES/SNES/Genesis games that I might not want to go back and play ever again. (Bubsy 2, Mickey's Ultimate Challenge, etc.) But for the most part, when I think nostalgic games, I get good memmories. Big name titles aside (Mario, Zelda, Megaman, Sonic, etc.), there were a ton of games that were great, licensed characters used or not. Games like Maniac Mansion, Skate or Die, Animaniacs, or Contra had me compelled in ways that only the big 1st party Nintendo games can still do. I remember playing RC Pro AM for hours, even though I was just driving around in circles...or trying to figure out what the heck was going on when playing Lemmings.
Sure, I don't imagine that a spin around town in Rad Racer 2 is going to be as exciting as playing F-Zero GX, or trying to not shoot that dumb lady in the pink sweater in Hogan's Alley will be as rewarding as killing my dumb friend who keeps picking the monkey in Timesplitters 2, but I sure as heck couldn't ever compare the two generations by the objectives, so much as I can the fun factor. My biggest beef is not the games themselves, but the market they now live in. Why must the casual gamer take away my Cosmic Spacehead and Ice Climbers, and replace them with Enter the Matrix?
Alan
| Starring Mister Thicke |
I certainly know what you mean there about Hogan's Alley. Shooting the pink lady was always a problem, and I'd certainly prefer killing timesplitting monkeys.
But you'd rather play F-Zero GX than drive around in Rad Racer? You can't top those damned 3D glasses and I don't care what you say.
Of course this is coming from the guy who spent several hours one night acquiring a million dollars in Bill Laimbeer's Combat Basketball just so he could purchase Bill Laimbeer only to deem him not really a whole lot better than the other players and turn it off anyway.
| JUST GO FOR IT! |
Hi Brandon, before i begin I would like to say thanks for posting my letter, I honestly thought it was gonna end up in the N-Sider trash bin.
Anyways, Im a solid 18 years old, and through the years I have played alot of games, some good, some bad (i blame the bad on the Nintendo 64 era); but some games stand out in my mind more than others. These are the videogames that define videogames (well at least to me), so I have decided to do the 3 oldschool games that stick out in my mind. Here we go!
Game #3: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for the Nintendo Entertainment System. Yep. Im starting the list off with this amazing sidescroller/topdown adventure for the NES. What kid in the 80s didnt like the turtles, exaclty, EVERY kid in the 80s liked the turtles. Anyways this game was made by ULTRA and it is pure nostalgia goodness wrapped up in a Blue bandanna with dual Katana blades. The music kicked ass, I found myself nodding my head to the "surface" theme. The gameplay was pretty straightforeward, rescue April, diffuse the bombs, but thats what made it great; it was easy to get into. My favorite turtle in that game was Leonardo, he's badass.
Game #2: MegaMan III for the Nintendo Entertainment System. This was my first MegaMan game I owned, and while MegaMan 2 was the "breakthrough" game, I believe this one was the best. The music was good but the games graphics looked great to me. I remember this game being pretty damn challenging when I was a little kid, in fact this game was the reason I bought a Game Genie, I couldnt beat the game without it. As for a MegaMan game, this one has to be the biggest, ok you start out fighting the typical eight bosses, then you have to fight the old bosses from MegaMan 2, and then once you defeated them you had to fight Break Man. After that you follow Wily to his castle and fight 3-4 more bosses, then you fight the original 8 again and then Dr.Wily twice. WOW!!!! Its hard to believe that they managed to fit all this into one game, but somehow they found a way to do it ( its either the work of Elves or the Force).
Game #3: Super Mario Bros.3 for the Nintendo Entertainment system. Yep, this is the one, this is THE MOST MEMORABLE GAME I HAVE EVER PLAYED. Im pretty sure you saw this coming, this is the best sidescroller/platformer/mariogame ever! Its just that simple, this game had its own movie (The Wizard) and eventually its own short lived saturday morning cartoon show with the same name. The guys at Nintendo took everything Mario was famous for and added to it; new powerups, new worlds, new bosses etc. A friend of mine owns the game and the box the cartridge came in is in MINT condition, its so amazing its scary. The music was awesome, the bad guys were sweet, and there were cool secrets ( remember that white block in stage 3). Out of all the powerups (quite a few btw) the Tanooki suit was the best, you can fly AND change into a statue!? The game had its easy levels and its hard levels (like every level in world 6) but with the power of the magical Flute, every kid was able to say that they made it to the last world. I am planning on getting a GBA player and the remake, cause its damn awesome.
Ok, thats it, those are my top three and until next time, Cya later :P
Viewtiful Joedi
| bizzooom |
Mega Man II is probably one of my favorite side-scrolling platformers ever just because it's easy but not TOO easy, and there're those metal blade things that just tear the hell from stuff.
As far as the TMNT goes, I'm surprised you didn't say you liked the second one better. If you were anything like my friends and I, the first one would have pissed you off and made you want to kill the hell out of everything when you finally made it close to diffusing one of those bombs only to get tangled in the damned seaweed and lose your last freaking turtle. But you're not cause you liked it. That is interesting.
Rock the SMB 3 though.
I wonder if my responses are at all useful? I mean I can't tell you your nostalgic choices are wrong or anything. Hm.
| Cracklin' |
Howdy Oat Bran,
Did I say 'howdy'? Anyways, the first thing that popped into my head when I read your topic was Treasure Mountain. I think back in the day everyone I knew had played this one. I learned how to play the theme on the piano and I deemed it awesome. Now that I think about it, the game was pretty lame since it's labeled 5 to whatever, but I'd get to the mountain top, fall through the hole and climb right back up for more. Now that I think about it... my dad played that game... why?....
Anyways, in response to the Too Human letter... Too Human was one of the most anticipated games for the original Playstation until SK went to Nintendo. Likely, it could be the next Metal Gear Solid, and it seems likely a good candidate for an N5 launch title. Wishful thinking, probably, but Eternal Darkness was at E3 four times before release. Too Human didn't even show up this year, so who knows.
By the way, you should write a topic about going online, cuz I know that's the big question right now. I mean, dorm rooms are what Xbox Live thrives on, but does it have a future? Something like that!
Later,
Bootman
| Oat Bran |
I don't think the astonishing part of this letter is that you said 'howdy', but that you called me 'Oat Bran'. That's fun.
At this time, Brandon's inner critic would like to step to the side and address the audience. "What the hell is he doing, guys? 'That's fun.'? I think he's got some problems. Abnormal ones. Problems, that, you know, make him be not funny. I think it'd be funnier if I went and ate some poopy. Hah. Poopy. Man, that's freaking hilarious. You ever look at that word before? Hah. Poopy. Poopy poop poopy." Brandon's inner critic is done addressing the audience.
I never played Treasure Mountain but I think it was probably to you what Manpit was for me. I think that's what it was called. It was one of those "first CD games ever" things and I played it at the library when multimedia was all the rage. You basically just wandered around and clicked stuff like a hypercard thing but man I loved that. If anyone has ever heard of it or has a copy they'd like to get rid of, e-mail me or something.
Online gaming? I'll let it fly around in my head until the end of the column. Yes.
| Odell Lake! |
I got Oregon Trail for my- 13th birthday- I think... from some family friends. I had played it before somewhere else, of course it was a newer version... anyway, I had fun with that for a while, AKA, a week.
But it wasn't just OT on the CD, there were other MEC classics, like number munchers (we used to play in the classroom all day on the Ol' Apples) and that game where you could choose the fish you wanted to be and you could use it's neeto skills and eat other fish! For some reason it reminds me of Mario Teaches Typing..... which was an awful use of the Mario License - twice (to my knowledge).
Which leads me to the NES classics. Many good, many bad. Shame on Nintendo for giving the seal of approval to some games. A boy and his blob, comes to mind. Wally Bear is another.
But there were the greats. Duck hunt, Super Mario Bros(Attempted again, and again by many other companies), Excitebike,
*Note:That should about do it for reminiscing for tonight.
PsychoWiLL-
| That's What it Was |
The fish eating game was Odell Lake. That thing owned me. I always ate the algae but then the vulture would come kick my ass or something. Those MEC classics, oh man. Many a school day wasted playing them. Then there were all the edutainment games where if you played long enough and answered the math problems you got to drive a car for three minutes or something like that or in another one, you
*Note:That should about do it for replying for this letter.
PsychoBrANDON-
| Spidey Sense is Tingling |
Brandon Von Brute,
My favorite "nostalgia" game would have to be Math Blaster, bro. I remember in second grade when I would finish my touch-typing work fast in the computer lab so I could play that. It was so sweet. I was playing a VIDEO GAME in school! I felt so dirty.
But later in like fifth grade we were required to play it in a math class--and I hated it. Funny it works out that way, huh?
Oh, and it sucks that the Viewtiful Powers topic didn't pick up. Attached to this is a picture that expresses my sorrow but yet shows how proud I am of you for setting an example for pro-literate gamers everywhere.
-Viewtiful Davis
| This is Something |
My friend Mr. Davis here attached this picture to his letter:
I have no idea what it has to do with anything whatsoever, but I salute you, Viewtiful Dave.
We used to play this typing-based basketball game in middle school. It sucked hard. Mister Allen was all like "Push A to pass! G! H! E!" and I'm like "YEEH WUTEVA" neener neener neener ba neener neener neener
| This is What I Get |
Hey this Brandon's college roomate from last year. I know all you guys out there are wondering what it is like living with a "Super Fly" (inside joke) like Brandon. He never finishes his food or beverages and he usually has 5 half full (or is that half empty) soda cans on his desk. He likes to let his dirty dishes fester until they turn various colors of neon. He has major intimacy issues and does not like anyone male female or otherwise to lay a finger on him. He always made such a big deal about I couldn't help but pester him at least 10 times a week. For some reason he still puts up with me and we are still "tight". Brandon is the funnyiest person I have ever come in contact with. Remind me to tell you about the "Under Water" joke sometime. Brandon also has excellent literary skills and a vast knowledge of video games. He can spell any word that I can pick out of a medica! l dictionary. Well I think that is about all for now. If you guys ever became cross with him just tell me about it and I will infict pain on him in the form of a nuggie or something. Brandon by the way is the male equivalent of Kate Moss. I have seen pencils that are larger in diameter than his wrists. Getting back (back?) on topic my favorite old school game is a 2-D Duke Nukem shareware title and Jazz Jackrabbit.
Steve
| For Asking My Friends to Write |
I can't believe I'm printing this but I've printed every letter I've ever gotten so I can't break suit now. Yes, Steve, you're humiliating me in a public forum and I'm just going along with it. It's true, all of it. I'm Super Fly and let my dirty dishes fester and I AM TEH FUNY.
But intimacy issues? I don't know where you get thatGET OFF ME YOU STUPID FLY OH GOD I'LL KILL YOU
Oh and I'm not as thin as Kate Moss. I have several pounds on her. That or you're looking at some weird pencils.
...
Yeah I know. Shut up.
--- Closing Comments --- Another column down, albeit a little late. Topic for next week. Hm....
I think since the holiday's coming up (at least for my American colleagues) that we should have a fun free day. So write in with whatever you want. I know it's hard without direction, but think of the benefits! I'll probably print your letter and you can say anything you want! You could call me a booby and I'd print it.
Tell me your Thanksgiving traditions, tell me about yourself, tell me what you want people to give you for Christmas since it's coming up. Tell me if you're looking for someone to slather with cranberry sauce.
Naked.
| Got a letter? Send it to Brandon! |