E3: Wario Ware: Smooth Moves

In this one you are holding it like a pair of handlebars on a bike or motorcycle. Do you feel the wind blowing through your hair? It is like you are consumed by speed.

One of the games you play from this position is reminiscent of those little bonus levels from so many games where you need to push down the little plunger on the airpump to blow up your balloon. You just pump it like crazy until it blows up. Then you win. Still a second game has you balancing on a little circus ball while holding a large rod above your head. Do not fall off, or you will shame your family and be eaten by the tigers! Calm down there tiger, there's enough for everyone!



This one is weird. The picture looks like the front of a guy who is literally using both arms to reach down and grab his crotch. The remote is mysteriously hidden from view. In this position you do whatever you want, as long as you don't tell anyone.

The primary game involves doing the "hula" so perhaps you are meant to hold it at your hip and gyrate furiously. In a manner of speaking, it would be much funnier to you and those around you if you used it as a plastic phallus.



For The Mohawk you hold the remote on the top of your head, as though the remote itself is a mohawky plume of hair. You could pretend you instigated the punk movement, or maybe you are just issuing a throwback to your rebellious comrades. It is also possible that you intend to duplicate a mere "fauxhawk," the virtual replication of which surely will create a recursive imitation that might send true Mohawkians spinning in their graves, if they are dead.

Chiefly, the game that was played from this position was meant to simulate extreme feats of weight lifting squats. That is to say, there is a man on the screen holding weights above his head, and you must crouch down and stand up many times very fast to win. Hopefully you are in shape!