Posts by Brandon Daiker

Maybe the most surprising thing about New Super Mario Bros. 2's coin rush mode, in which you can compete with StreetPassed strangers by trying to maximize your coin total through a single-life gauntlet of three randomly selected levels, is that it's actually, in some sort of disgusting, twisted way, beneficial to tag people who have a score that is massively, impossibly unbeatable. Why would that be? Well, it's because the first time that you challenge a coin rush tag and finish it, you automatically receive coins equivalent to your rival's record.

In a couple months like clockwork clickin' it will happen, the double-language sheet will magically appear on my desk to ask me if I'm sticking with My Life, if I wanna choose to stay here in for my last eligible year as a high-school teacher in this program, to become more of a Japanese citizen than I was a Pittsburgher, longer than I was a college student, longer than I've lived in any one place since I was eleven.

It's true, I did it, I bought a new TV. Well, technically it isn't new. Or wasn't, I mean. I mean, it was new at some point, but when I bought it, it wasn't new anymore. I think Gamestop calls this state "pre-owned," which is stupid since almost everything has been pre-owned even before anyone ever bought it, by the company and the store and stuff, just call it what it is, my TV is used, USED!

Anyone who's been around the gaming scene for long enough knows that the run-up period to console launches is always packed full of bizarre speculation. The Wii U has had its share so far, but what seems to be burning up the nets most lately are the hushed, secretive rumblings about the games we'll see from third parties at launch. Each minor revelation seems squeezed out over secret incantations, all bits of information parceled out replete with either public relations spin-control or braggadocio—and it's getting harder to know who's blowing smoke out their ass, who isn't, and what exactly these developers are allowed to tell us under their various non-disclosure agreements.

I haven't beat 3D Land yet, or I guess I mean really beat, with both dudes and all the coins and all the flagpoles, and it's not cause I haven't wanted to. But wait actually, that is exactly the reason. I've played this game basically in three chunks since getting it—has it really been almost an entire year since this came out? I think the reason I sorta started and stopped was that the game ended up feeling kind of samey to me as I went.

What's more fun than a plastic packet full of cardboard? A plastic packet full of cardboard with Mario pictures printed on it! Yes, New Super Mario Bros. Wii Stage Set Gum is simultaneously the worst and most awesome candy-related product I have ever savagely grabbed from the shelf with my teeth and spat into the shopping cart with a walrus-like emission of sound. This thing hearkens back to a time when we had to use our imaginations for entertainment, when we had to have fun with spartan paper products.

When I was younger, I had a boxed copy of Final Fantasy III for Super Nintendo that I bought, used, at a video store, for $12. It came loose in its retail box, no manuals or maps. I decided it would be better to put the game into a spare plastic game case that I had, and I did it, and then I decided I should probably cut the box it came in into pieces to decorate the plastic case, and then I did that too.

I have to admit, I have kind of an obsession when it comes to nerdy video game-themed playing cards, which are called "trump" for some reason here in the mighty land of Pikachu. One of my most favorite sets is these now-topical bad boys, the Dragon Quest Playing Cards! Unlike a lot of uninspired game cards that only featured themed backs or special facecards, every single card in this set is special!

Have you ever noticed that more than a few Nintendo games from the mid- to late-80s bear more than a passing resemblance to Arnold Schwarzenegger's seminal action movie Commando? It's not exactly news, but you can even see two Arnolds on the western NES release boxart for Contra, starring against each other (his Predator incarnation on the left, and his Commando incarnation on the right). Down to identical veins and little vest hooks!

Sometimes I wonder what it'd be like to just play games without even thinking about them. What it would be like to do anything without thinking about it is probably what it would be like to play games without thinking. What do I do on a daily basis that I don't think about like someone who's thinking about it? Maybe eating, when I eat something I don't always wonder how it was made.