Posts by Brandon Daiker

Nintendo sometimes makes a big deal about milestones—Mario's 30th, Zelda's 25th, and the "Year of Luigi" are all recent examples that come to mind—but one thing you won't usually hear them mention is how long it's been since something went away. Luckily, my encyclopedic knowledge of pointless factoids stands at the ready! You see, today, February 19, 2019, marks the 25th anniversary of the very last games that Nintendo ever released for the Famicom, the system that enjoyed new releases for nearly 11 years and put them on the map as a home video game publisher.

My kid's favorite word right now is "ow" and it's what she says instead of "meow" which the cat says, cause she can't say meow. She says it whenever she sees any animal, I guess, but I haven't been paying super close attention or anything because I'm trying to get the fucking nukes in Civilization VI, which is a game you can play now on the system that goes away from the TV so you can play it while ignoring your kids but at least you’re both in the same room.

Things are about to get M'm! M'm! Good! for gamers who have long been clamoring for the inclusion of fan-favorite Campbell's Soup in the Super Smash Bros. series. The hotly-anticipated can of soup was announced as the newest character to join the already jam-packed lineup in a special Nintendo Direct released on the company's YouTube channel this week. Normally coy series mastermind Masahiro Sakurai seemed to enjoy teasing fans about the addition of the inanimate aluminum can of soup for months prior to the announcement, routinely hiding red and white colored objects in the backgrounds of videos released to promote other Smash Bros.

My daughter is literally two weeks old, I put her in a bassinet next to me, it is a word I just learned, it's a basket on wheels that you put your fresh baby in because they are fragile and important and about as mobile as a zucchini. All I want, for the love of god, is to get an hour or so of time that is unpunctuated with shocking emissions of any sort, from the ass, mouth, or butt.

Something weird called out to me today from just outside the boundaries of the miasmatic illusion I call my life and the name of it is Nintendo Labo. Labo is a normal word in English. Nintendo Labo is a thing that—like so much of Nintendo's best work—we cannot understand or comprehend until the moment they show it to us. Nintendo Labo is straight up Nintendo, who just sold ten million of their newest hottest electronic gizmo in town and of course have decided they'd like to say "

Leave it to hardware speculation to drag my ass outta retirement... A trio of new patents published today (1, 2, and 3) and dug up by a guy on NeoGAF named Disorientator have seemingly fully detailed the fundamental tricks and functionality of the forthcoming NX—and it’s only a little bit what everyone speculated. Keep in mind that everything I talk about in this article has been gleaned specifically from these (and previous) patents.

Dear reader, It's getting to be about that time of year. All of us have something to do or somewhere to go, whether it's in front of the TV or down the street, or thousands of miles away. Bein's how we're just a few people who run this site, it's probably best for us to take a little break while we all do our thing. So, startin' now we on vacation.

When I was younger I almost never got new games. I had to luck out at the video store with weekend rentals, and I had the Hot Knowledge of Nintendo Tape Magazine to assist me in picks—though with the slim rental choices it more often than not came down to looking at box art. You and I both know that before you put a game on that Christmas list you had to have made damned sure it was an A+++ winner cause you were gonna have to play the hell out of it for the next year.

Maybe it's cause of the kind of person I am—and I'm not saying I am necessarily a whimpering, masochistic weakling who craves being witness to the expert display of the skills and talents of others—but I have always kind of been entranced by storytellers. People who create works for others to experience. But also maybe expert tour-guides? Sketch artists? People with plans, masters of their crafts, no matter how small they are.

You know those fancy buttons underneath the left and right sticks on the PlayStation 3 that are called R3 and L3? They don't actually have any names on the Wii U. The in-game documentation via prompts in Nintendo Land and Ninja Gaiden just say "Hold R" with a picture of a stick that has two little arrows above it. I think this is similar to what the 360 does maybe?